Of Service and Intimacy

I’ve been thinking lately about two passages, and what they have to say to each other, particularly in relation to our service to God.

The first passage is 2 Tim. 3:1-9, in which Paul talks about people “holding to a form of godliness, but denying its power.” In other words, going through the motions of faith without the substance.

The second passage is Matt. 7:21-23, in which Jesus talks about people saying to him on the last day , “Lord, Lord, did we not DO this, that, and the other thing in your name?” (my paraphrase). Jesus responds, “I never KNEW you; depart from me . . . .” So, people are holding up their acts of service for God as an admission ticket, and Jesus says, “I’m sorry . . . but who are you?” When all is said and done, what’s going to matter to Jesus is intimacy, not accomplishment; relationship, not resume.

All this got me to thinking again how very easy it is to interpret our service as faithfulness, and to assume productivity is at the core of what Jesus wants from his people, rather than personal relationship.

In fact, the great work of the evil one is not to keep us from rendering service to God, but rather, to deceive us into believing that our service is sufficient on its own, or more to the point, that our self-directed activity on God’s behalf constitutes the primary work of God in the world. Accomplishment, then, becomes a substitute for intimacy.

However, disconnected from the power of God that is infused into a life intimately and relationally connected to him, our service to him becomes a hollow shell of our own making, an anemic promise of something far greater. It is a form of godliness without the power to transform anything.

Jesus’ own life bears this out. Even he did not direct his own steps or follow his own agenda. By his own admission, his efforts were in response to what he saw his Father doing. He says, “I tell you, the Son can do nothing on his own initiative, but only what he sees his Father doing . . . . ” (Jn. 5:19). Similarly, he reminds us that “apart from me, you can do nothing” (Jn. 15:5). If our efforts are to mean anything, they must be Jesus-directed and Jesus-powered. Our “job,” therefore, is simply to pay attention.

Deep Healing

The key to life is not living for Jesus. Rather, it is found in Jesus living through us. – Terry Wardle

In John chapter four, Jesus has a remarkable encounter with an unnamed woman from Samaria who is in need of deep healing. I was reading this passage recently, and it occurred to me that everything Jesus wants to do for this woman will take place within her own heart.

He wants to give her living water “that will become in her a spring of water welling up to eternal life.” He wants to place something inside her.

Not very far into the conversation, he asks about her husband. I always imagine that at this request, the woman hangs her head, and replies in words barely audible. “I have no husband,” she admits. Of course, Jesus already knows this . . . and more. “You are right in saying you have no husband,” he says gently. “In truth, you have had five husbands, and the man you’re with now won’t even give you his name.”

Now we’re at the heart of this woman’s existence, which is always where Jesus is headed with us. Used, broken, filled with shame and regret, perhaps abused, looked down upon by her peers – this is where this woman lives. Every day. These are the parts of her most in need of redemption, and they are heart issues.

She responds the way most of us respond when our tender, fragile, wounded hearts face exposure – she changes the subject, diverting Jesus like she’d learned to divert others from what is most true about herself. “Let’s talk about the mechanics of worship,” she says. “Some say we’re to worship here (or in this way), and others say we’re to do it there (or in that way).” How often we try to avoid intimacy by diverting ourselves and others into tiresome discussions about church mechanics and minutiae.

Remarkably, perhaps, Jesus does not force his way in. He never does. He will never force his way into a heart that has not invited him in. But he does begin to talk about truth. God desires worshippers who engage him in spirit – passionately, eagerly, and with joy – and in truth – coming clean about their brokenness, fears, hurt, and failures.

Why are these things so important to God? Because these things – eagerness and openness – are the basis of relationship. Any relationship God desires worshippers who come to him as they are, hiding nothing and inviting him into their life. Into the pain. Into the truth.

For a second time, she tries to divert him (v. 25), ironically by talking about the Messiah. “Well, when he comes, he’ll help us with such things.”

Jesus must have smiled. He says, in essence, “I’m here. It’s happening – here, now . . . and with you!”

And that does it. Off she goes to tell the rest of the town. And her message to them is so telling. She doesn’t say, “Come see the Messiah,” or “Come get your cosmic questions answered.” She says, “Come see the one who knows me . . . really knows me. He knows everything I’ve ever done.” And she doesn’t say it, but I’m sure she feels it: “And he loves me ANYWAY!”

Healing is free and abundant, but it is only accessible when we lay our hearts bare before the Lord, and dialogue with him about what we find there. Your heart is Christ’s favorite venue of activity.

By the way, the most important factors in a relationship with God – eagerness and honesty – are the most important factors in a relationship with our church family as well.

Shalom.

A Sanctuary of the Soul

Deep within us all there is an amazing inner sanctuary of the soul, a holy place, a Divine Center, a speaking Voice, to which we may continuously return. – Thomas R. Kelly

These words by Thomas Kelly point us toward our own hearts as the place to meet God. “But our hearts are broken,” we cry, almost in protest. “The heart is deceitful above all things,” we quote. “How can we find God there, and even if we did, how could we ever be sure it was God and not our own imagination or desires?”

These are all real concerns, and over time, we’ll deal with them here. But for now, I’d like to assert that Kelly is right. The heart is the place to meet God. And here’s why:

The Lord is most active (and thus, most evident) in the deepest recesses of our own hearts. This is so because that is where the struggle for control plays out. Your heart is what is most real about you, and as such, that is where the search for meaning and identity is most raw and most real.

We typically go to God in prayer asking him – begging him – to change our circumstances, in one form or another. And we usually don’t get much in the way of a response. I hate to have to break it to you, but most of the time it’s your heart, not your circumstances, that God is most trying to change. It’s how he rolls.

Your heart is where God is most eager to do his transforming work, and that transformation is what you are most resisting. So if you want to see God and hear from him, you must learn to pay attention to what’s going on in your own heart. You really will find that he’s amazingly present and engaged. He’d like you to be engaged too.

So we must learn to pay attention to what’s really going on in the deepest recesses of our own hearts. A good way to begin to learn to do this is to pay attention to our emotions. Your emotions are not the same thing as your heart, but they are pretty good windows into your heart.

The psalmist advises (Ps. 4:4), “When you are disturbed, do not sin; search your own hearts on your beds, and be silent.”

In other words, when you’re angry of frustrated or sad or scared or overjoyed, get quiet and still and meditate a bit on what’s going on in your heart. Why are you feeling the way you’re feeling? What, specifically, about what’s going on in your life right now is making you feel that way? Ask the Lord what he wants to say to you about all this. Then get quiet and listen, paying attention to any spontaneous thoughts you have while you’re listening for an answer. Those may well be God speaking to you.

As a starting place, give yourself fifteen minutes to put that last paragraph into practice. Try it every day for a week. It might also help to journal through this process. Journaling has really helped me.

St. Ignatius had a word for this kind of activity. He called it examen (probably pronounced with a long “a”) In my next post, I’ll tell you a bit about examen and how it can help you get in touch with your heart.

Shalom

A Dynamic Relationship

All relationships are dynamic. They change and evolve, grow or die, ebb and flow. A healthy relationship requires the participation and engagement of both parties, and the relationship flows as each friend responds to the other. It’s fluid, not static. The very best relationships are made of two people who are paying very close attention to one another.

This is also true in our relationship with God. It is dynamic and ever-changing. While we’re not equals, there is a give-and-take to our relationship with our Father. He nudges us, encourages us, and at times, waits for us. And we wait for him. He responds to us, and we respond to him. Being in a relationship with God is not merely about following a code of conduct handed down from a distant potentate. Nor is it about reading an owner’s manual, following a blueprint, or executing a strategic plan. These are not the things of relationship. God is real, and the relationship he desires with each of us is real too. Not contrived, organized or orchestrated, but real. Dynamic.

And just like any relationship, the key relational skill is attentiveness. Attentiveness to a living being. The same kind of attentiveness you show to your child or your spouse or your aging mother. The problem is, most of us are not used to thinking of God in those terms. We’re used to thinking of God as one who’s said all he’s going to say and who now merely expects allegiance and fidelity. We’re used to thinking of him as one to be obeyed, not as one to be engaged. Thus, we’re not very good at paying attention to God.

We’re beginning to talk about it; the missional mantra insists that we “see what God’s up to and join him in that.” That’s a good impulse, but how do we do that? There’s little in our religious background that teaches us how to do this. So how do I know what God is doing?

It starts, I believe, with what can be described as careful listening. I’ve come to believe that we can hear directly from God today, and that he is often much more accessible than we typically realize. In fact, he’s as accessible as you’d expect someone with whom you are in a relationship to be. As I’ve learned this (and I’m still learning this), I’ve discovered that it’s quite unlike anything I would’ve imagined it to be. It seems quite natural, actually. And it’s really, really good!

So, in my next post(s), I’ll describe a bit more about what that has come to look Iike for me and what it can look like for you.

Shalom

Preoccupied With the Periphery

Most of us have become remarkably adept at avoiding intimacy. We’ve learned how to keep conversations at a surface level, and how to keep people at arm’s reach. I think we’re afraid of intimacy. Intimacy is risky business, because intimacy requires vulnerability. So in marriage, we trade intimacy for sex. With our peers, we substitute fun for friendship. And with God, we choose religion over relationship.

If we want to improve church (and who doesn’t these days?), we study about it. We hold seminars, lectureships, and meetings. We read books, plan classes, and preach sermons. We study evangelism, church growth, or missions (or perhaps something more obscure like providence, ecclesiology, or soteriology). What we don’t often do, however, is seek the face of God.

I’d like to suggest that the quickest, most reliable, most transformative way to improve church is to improve our individual intimacy with God. And this is something we must do. The church cannot do it for us. The church cannot connect us to God. God wants to have a personal relationship with each one of us, and personal relationships cannot be mediated through others. The church can make the introduction and introduce you to some practices in which you can begin to commune with God. The church can even provide some relationship coaching along the way. But the church cannot develop the relationship for you. That exists – or doesn’t exist – between you and God (Rom. 14:22).

Sadly, many Christians expect that by attending church weekly (or less . . . or more), a relationship with God will develop on its own. Or worse, they mistake church attendance and participation for a relationship with God, expecting the church to provide for them the life and fulfillment and transformation that only God can provide.

Make no mistake, the church is fantastically important to the Christian walk. But no church – no matter how healthy – can give one a relationship with God. Nor can the church serve as a surrogate for a relationship with God. The church is God’s idea, but a relationship with a church is a sad and inadequate substitute for a relationship with God.

In my next post, I’ll begin to unpack how we can foster increased intimacy with God.

Shalom